02-09-2019
Workshop Learning Objectives
-Examine our leadership philosophy, style and practices.
-Build a culture of investing in the strengths that God has given you and those you serve.
-Recognise shame-based and Fear-based leadership and practices that limit your potentials and leadership at church or in your home.
Leadership is a blessing but it also difficult.
Create an atmosphere of healing, not an atmosphere of hurt.
Look at ourselves first. If I am the one contributing to the problem, what can I do about it?
Humility is very important.
We are all flawed. But God will make us into the vessel that He wants us to be.
Followership is as important as leadership.
And we have to recognise the sisters. Without them, the church stops. They are not doing the supportive roles; they are doing all the roles. God gives us all the spiritual gifts.
Why do we have leaders? Purpose is crucial. Role clarity as opposed to role ambiguity.
Like King David, you have served a generation, so let another take over.
As leaders, feed the sheep. People come to church for healing. How do we help them? Don't be in the way and become a stumbling block. Be careful of potholes.
Being honest and being critical doesn't mean it's bad. Every group needs feedback mechanism built into the way we function so that we can recourse and steer the ship back in the right direction.
Ineffective leadership:
What characterises ineffective leadership?
-Micromanaging
-Indecisiveness
-Not leading by example
-Arrogance
-Stubbornness; stiff-necked
-Bad listening skills
-No action, talk only
-Overly sensitive
We need mirrors, eg. spouse, children and close friends. Surround ourselves with people that we trust and respect. Give them permission to speak into our lives. We have to learn to look at ourselves through them. The head cannot function without the rest of the body.
Learn to slow down and listen. Counselling is, most importantly, to listen. In counselling, it is all about you so that you learn about who you are so that at the end, it is all about your client. And you get the blessing.
Do we have a "Prophet Nathan" in our lives?
Do we have a "Barnabas" in our lives? The ministry of encouragement is needed most of the time. Pray for the gift of encouragement.
If we don't resolve our own issues, the monster keeps growing.
In grace, we heal. We are all damaged goods. But God has blessed us so much.
Effective leadership:
What characterises effective leadership?
-Effective communication
-Compassionate
-Know Thyself
-Humble
-Gentle
-Honest
-Prayerful
-Servanthood
-Locate the gifts in others, identify their strengths and talents, and work together
-Do not feel threatened that other people are better than you
-Empower others. Failure is the mother of success. Mistakes are building blocks of success. Mistakes do not equal weakness.
-Be authentic. Be real. Walk the talk.
Outcomes of effective leadership:
An effective team does not mean there is no problems. One of the ways of being productive is knowing how to solve problems. Problems are opportunities for us to build and to improve. A healthy environment means even there is problems, they know how to solve it. There is no problem-free relationships. Problems are a main course in life. Welcome it and learn skills to survive.
Ask, "What needs improvement?" A healthy environment is one that needs to look at itself. Apply an open system. Ego causes us to be afraid to hear feedback.
Perfect love drives out all fear. We are compelled by love. With that comes the joy of serving. Don't be driven by needs. Be a growth promoting agent to another person. Be authentic to be real even though we are not perfect.
Shame-based and Fear-based Leadership
Shame-based leadership
-Leading out of shame
-Leading based on shaming
Fear-based leadership
-Leading out of fear
-Leading based on fear
What are the actions and strategies of a shame- and Fear-based leader?
Direct - intentional, unintentional, unknowing
Indirect - intentional, unintentional, unknowing
Source of shame and fear
Where do shame and fear come from?
-Cultural influence - biases and prejudices
-Personal learning history
-Legalistic, moralistic, spiritually prideful
Luke 7:36-50 New King James Version (NKJV)
A Sinful Woman Forgiven
36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
So he said, “Teacher, say it.”
41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”
43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”
And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
Strength-based tenets
We are self-righting individuals in attempt to adapt to the environment in the process developing strengths for survival.
We develop strengths to help us meet our needs for belonging and connection.
Each of us has the capacity to develop strengths.
Our strength levels vary - low to high.
Development of our strengths is related to our environment - growth-promoting or growth-stifling.
Strength is developed through struggle and adversity.
Strengths contribute to psychological wellness and healing and buffer against mental illness.
Focusing on strengths lead to motivation and growth (eg. strength identification, exception finding).
Encouragement facilitates change (eg. compliments).
Create a respectful, honouring, validating and positive environment.
Use hope, not problem-focused.
Tap into positive cultural and spiritual practices to refocus and enhance.
Encouragement and hope always come together. A lot of people are depressed because they don't see hope. Hope is like the future throwing a lifeline to help me to pull me over to the next step. Be genuinely complementary. Give them specific feedback.
Inspiration and sources:
-Elsie J. Smith (2006) The Strength-based counselling model. The Counselling Psychologist, 34:13-79
-Robert K. Greenleaf (1973) The Servant leader within
-Lived experiences recorded in the Bible.
-Lived experiences of clients, students, friends, self.
Strength-based strategies
Create a positive working relationship
-Clear understanding of goals and objectives
-Clear understanding of tasks
-Strong bond - relationship
Identify strengths
-Know your own strengths
-Know the strengths of those you lead
Build strength and competence
-Encourage and instill hope
-Encourage follower-generated solutions
-Accentuate past successes
-Provide training and development opportunities
-Acknowledge and compliment
Empower them
-How did Jesus accomplish the above with His disciples and those He served?
Servant Leadership
-Christ-demonstrated model of leadership.
-Model of leadership that accentuates strength-based leadership practices.
-The servant leader is servant first...
-Natural desire to serve.
-Conscious choice leads to an aspiration to lead.
-Servant leader is unlike a leader who is leader first, driven by power, fame, and possession.
-Servant leaders work hard to ensure other people's highest priority needs are being served. Is the need of the least among you served?
-Best test of servant leadership: Do those served grow as persons and become servants?
-Primary focus - growth and well-being of the people and communities they are part of. Shares power, prioritises needs of other, helps other to develop and perform as highly as possible.
-Servant-leader organisation could change the world (R. K. Greenleaf)
Servant leadership and strength-based leadership have to go hand in hand.
This is very much examplified by Christ.
Matthew 20:28 New King James Version (NKJV)
28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Be an intentional leader with a passion tagged by the philosophical framework.
On this side of heaven, the problem is consistency but we approach the throne of grace with confidence. We are on a journey. Embrace the journey and allow ourselves to grow. There are a lot of wounds and healing to be done and it takes time. Don't stop becoming an angel to another person.
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