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Guilt & Shame: Effect on Relationships (Family Relationship & Mental Health Awareness)

Dr Ben Lim
21-10-2018

Beginning of Guilt & Shame:

Genesis 3:1-5 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Temptation and Fall of Man
3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”


4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”



The Fall:

Genesis 3:6 New King James Version (NKJV)
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was [a]pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.

1 John 2:15-16 New King James Version (NKJV)
Do Not Love the World
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

What's in the world?

1) Lust of the Flesh (Desire to Indulge) 

2) Lust of the Eyes (Desire to Possess)

3) Pride of Life (Desire to Impress)

RELATED: THE BAD NEWS & GOOD NEWS ABOUT GUILT & SHAME

Jesus went through the same kind of temptations as us, yet without sinning.

Unfortunately for Adam and Eve, they took the fruit and they ate it. Their eyes were opened and they realised they were naked.

Genesis 3:7-10 New King James Version (NKJV)
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves [b]coverings.

8 And they heard the [c]sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the [d]cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

They began to feel the guilt of what they had done. They felt shame. They hid themselves.

When they disobeyed God, both guilt and shame came together.


The first result of the Fall is Guilt & Shame.


Jesus went through all these emotions. Yet He was without sin, guilt and shame.


Relational Consequence: Blame Game

Genesis 3:11-13 New King James Version (NKJV)
11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”

12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

13 And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”


The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”










Sometimes men of God use the ministry to hide the pain.

The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed; the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed.

God's Solution for Shame & Guilt:


Genesis 3:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”

Romans 16:20 New King James Version (NKJV)
20 And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.


Jesus took care of our Guilt & Shame


Genesis 3:21 New King James Version (NKJV)
21 Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them.

With the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross:

1) The Guilt is taken care by His sacrifice on the cross as a penalty paid.


2) The Shame is replaced with honour by His resurrection and victory over Satan and sin.

We need to come back to the Word of God. 

Deny yourself, take up your cross daily. Learn to love people, not use people; learn to empower people instead. 

Be steward of things. They serve us rather than we serve them. Have a Kingdom perspective.


Freedom is found in Christ. Turn to God.




Maybe you have found all kinds of methods in the world and you found that it didn't work.

Open your hearts to Jesus today.

Perhaps some of us are feeling guilt and shame. We have used people for our own selfish gains. We have coveted things and are longing for the things of the world. Some of us have used the things that God gives us.

Today you can make it right with God. Ask God to take it away. He took it on the cross. The Blood of Jesus gives us victory.

Jesus Christ is Lord. He is Lord of lords and King of kings.

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