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Making An Impact: A Look At The Life of Daniel

Bro Victor Chua
11-11-2018




1) Define & Discover Your Purpose


Romans 8:28 New International Version (NIV)

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.


God has given us a purpose and a plan for our lives.


Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Paul's purpose was to reach out to the Gentiles.

Nehemiah's purpose was to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

What about Daniel?

Daniel made a huge impact upon his time and our time as well.

Daniel was a man who was greatly used by God in his time.

At 15, he was taken captive and brought against his will to Babylon.

For three years, he was immersed in Babylonian culture.

Daniel was taken from an old world view into a new world view.

He was given a new name: Belteshazzar. 

He knew the Torah. He knew of the prophecy of Jeremiah. The spirit of disobedience was strong at that time.

He was very much aware of God's mercy and grace.

His single purpose was to change all that.

God has planted purposes in your life. If you know God's purposes, you can run with it.

Purpose was something that Daniel had deep within his spirit.

2) Decide Now
Principles & Values

He has issue with eating food from the King's table.

He was taught from a young age not to eat food that was not kosher/offered to the idols.

He had a plan to be obedient to God and he stuck with it from day one.

You might be in a situation where you have to decide what you want to do. And that is tough.

"God, what are my values? What is the whole theology on forgiveness? What is love?"

Daniel would not be able to pray that prayer of love and mercy if he did not know the God of love and mercy.

Culture has a way of influencing us.


As a church, we learn what is important in our lives.

3) Discern Your Path
Navigate Your Situations Wisely

Daniel chose to be a vegetarian.

Through the power of God, he was healthier.

When you go through life faced with choices, you have to be discerning with what you do.

Social media is a minefield of broken relationships.

Social media is like a new land.

We need to be the salt and light of the earth.

It is important that we be ambassadors of truth.

Social media has created a lot of untruths and half baked lies.

When we are seen as a special breed of people, people will see it.

4) Declare His Lordship Over Your Life

Daniel had no choice but to depend on God.

Daniel was a man who was obedient to the point of death in the lion's den.

The King gave an edict that no one could pray to other gods for 30 days.

He didn't have to be in the lion's den. He chose to be in the lion's den.

It was a no brainer to close the windows to pray.

He declared the Lordship of God over his life.

Our God is a forgiving God. Our God is a gracious God. Our God is a loving God.

Are we a people of integrity? Are we a people of truth? Are we a people of dignity?

Go out there and make an impact for His glory and you will see your life changed.

Apostle Paul: Making An Impact in the World

Rev. Dr. Lim Kar Yong
04-11-2018

Acts 21:37-40 New King James Version (NKJV)
Addressing the Jerusalem Mob
37 Then as Paul was about to be led into the barracks, he said to the commander, “May I speak to you?”

He replied, “Can you speak Greek? 38 Are you not the Egyptian who some time ago stirred up a rebellion and led the four thousand assassins out into the wilderness?”

39 But Paul said, “I am a Jew from Tarsus, in Cilicia, a citizen of no [a]mean city; and I implore you, permit me to speak to the people.”

40 So when he had given him permission, Paul stood on the stairs and motioned with his hand to the people. And when there was a great silence, he spoke to them in the Hebrew language, saying,



Acts 22:1-22 New King James Version (NKJV)
Paul’s Defense at Jerusalem
22 “Brethren and fathers, hear my defense before you now.” 2 And when they heard that he spoke to them in the Hebrew language, they kept all the more silent.

Then he said: 3 “I am indeed a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city at the feet of Gamaliel, taught according to the strictness of our fathers’ law, and was zealous toward God as you all are today. 4 I persecuted this Way to the death, binding and delivering into prisons both men and women, 5 as also the high priest bears me witness, and all the council of the elders, from whom I also received letters to the brethren, and went to Damascus to bring in chains even those who were there to Jerusalem to be punished.

6 “Now it happened, as I journeyed and came near Damascus at about noon, suddenly a great light from heaven shone around me. 7 And I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?’ 8 So I answered, ‘Who are You, Lord?’ And He said to me, ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting.’

9 “And those who were with me indeed saw the light [a]and were afraid, but they did not hear the voice of Him who spoke to me. 10 So I said, ‘What shall I do, Lord?’ And the Lord said to me, ‘Arise and go into Damascus, and there you will be told all things which are appointed for you to do.’ 11 And since I could not see for the glory of that light, being led by the hand of those who were with me, I came into Damascus.

12 “Then a certain Ananias, a devout man according to the law, having a good testimony with all the Jews who dwelt there, 13 came to me; and he stood and said to me, ‘Brother Saul, receive your sight.’ And at that same hour I looked up at him. 14 Then he said, ‘The God of our fathers has chosen you that you should know His will, and see the Just One, and hear the voice of His mouth. 15 For you will be His witness to all men of what you have seen and heard. 16 And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.’

17 “Now it happened, when I returned to Jerusalem and was praying in the temple, that I was in a trance 18 and saw Him saying to me, ‘Make haste and get out of Jerusalem quickly, for they will not receive your testimony concerning Me.’ 19 So I said, ‘Lord, they know that in every synagogue I imprisoned and beat those who believe on You. 20 And when the blood of Your martyr Stephen was shed, I also was standing by consenting [b]to his death, and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.’ 21 Then He said to me, ‘Depart, for I will send you far from here to the Gentiles.’ ”

Paul’s Roman Citizenship
22 And they listened to him until this word, and then they raised their voices and said, “Away with such a fellow from the earth, for he is not fit to live!”

The Apostle Paul is Christianity's first international ambassador.

He sowed seeds of a new faith that would one day impact the whole world. 

He was thrown into prisons many times. Yet he remained faithful to his calling as an apostle to the Gentiles.

Paul was a great man who was used mightily by God.

The Apostle Paul impacted the world.






His years of active ministry was only about 15 years or so.

Yet Paul impacted so much.





Paul's Background:

Paul was born in the city of Tarsus.

Paul was a diaspora Jew.

The Palestinian Jews grew up in Israel  soil. They knew the Torah well and kept the traditions. Their lives often involved around the synagogues and kept pretty much to themselves.

In the first century, there's the diaspora Jews. Many of them settled on foreign soils. They spoke Greek and no longer their Aramaic mother tongue.

Yet Paul was different. Paul still spoke his Aramaic mother tongue. Under Gamaliel, he was trained in reading and interpreting the Scriptures. He was zealous for the law. He was a persecutor of those who were living against the law.

Paul had experiences in both worlds. He was the perfect man that God could use to impact the world.

He knew the Greco-Roman culture well. And he was well-versed in the Torah. He spoke in Aramaic and reached out to Gentiles in the Greek language.

Nothing in our lives happen by chance. God uses our lives' experiences and pains and trials for His glory. All these painful experiences can shape and stretch our faith in God so that we can emerge with a stronger faith in God. The Lord is preparing us for His kingdom through our daily experience. Let us not despise what we have been through. God is not finished with us.




Paul's Calling:

He was breathing murder and hatred for the people that had followed Jesus.

For Paul, anyone who followed Jesus had committed the sin of apostasy.

Acts 9:1-19 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Damascus Road: Saul Converted
9 Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2 and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.

3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?”

Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. [a]It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”

6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”

Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

7 And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no one. 8 Then Saul arose from the ground, and when his eyes were opened he saw no one. But they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. 9 And he was three days without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

Ananias Baptizes Saul
10 Now there was a certain disciple at Damascus named Ananias; and to him the Lord said in a vision, “Ananias.”

And he said, “Here I am, Lord.”

11 So the Lord said to him, “Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus, for behold, he is praying. 12 And in a vision he has seen a man named Ananias coming in and putting his hand on him, so that he might receive his sight.”

13 Then Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much [b]harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name.”

15 But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children[c] of Israel. 16 For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.”

17 And Ananias went his way and entered the house; and laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord [d]Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once; and he arose and was baptized.

19 So when he had received food, he was strengthened. Then Saul spent some days with the disciples at Damascus.

Paul was prepared to suffer for the sake of his calling in reaching the Gentiles.

Do we have a sense of what God has called us to do?

For some of us, God has called us to serve Him full time.

For the majority, God has called us to serve Him faithfully in the marketplace. 43,000 hours of our lives are spent in the marketplace.

May we be faithful to the calling that He has called us.

May we be the salt and light.




Paul's Silent Years in Tarsus:

Galatians 1:11-24 New King James Version (NKJV)
Call to Apostleship
11 But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. 12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.

13 For you have heard of my former conduct in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it. 14 And I advanced in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries in my own nation, being more exceedingly zealous for the traditions of my fathers.

15 But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, 16 to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately confer with flesh and blood, 17 nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went to Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.

Contacts at Jerusalem
18 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see [a]Peter, and remained with him fifteen days. 19 But I saw none of the other apostles except James, the Lord’s brother. 20 (Now concerning the things which I write to you, indeed, before God, I do not lie.)

21 Afterward I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia. 22 And I was unknown by face to the churches of Judea which were in Christ. 23 But they were hearing only, “He who formerly persecuted us now preaches the faith which he once tried to destroy.” 24 And they glorified God in me.

Paul was active in ministry from his 30s to 60s. He was active for 30+ years. 

But there was a period where he lived in the wilderness in silence.

Paul was silent/waited for about 12-13 years, in his 40s, before starting his ministry. 

The "silent years" were in between Paul’s conversion and Acts 11:25-26 (when "Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch"). We don’t know the exact sequence of events, but from Paul’s statement in Galatians 1:17-21, at some point Paul left Damascus (Acts 9) and went to Arabia , then back to Damascus. Then, after a brief time in Jerusalem to visit Peter (and he also met the Lord’s brother James), he "went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia."

Joseph lived 14 or 15 years before he saw his dream fulfilled.

It was only 15 years later before David became King of Judah and another 7 years before he was anointed King of a reunited kingdom of Israel.

Perhaps for some of us we have been waiting for God to tell us the right moment. Or we could be frustrated in waiting.

Waiting is the most difficult thing to do. We could be lost in the wilderness.

But that doesn't mean a period of being passive. While waiting, you could prepare yourself. Make use of the time to equip and prepare yourself. God will make it all worth the wait.

Let us resolve in our hearts to wait like Paul. God is never one second too early and He is never one second too late.




Reflections:

His background;
His calling;
His silent years prepared Paul to serve God faithfully.

Do we have a strong sense of calling of what God has called us to do? Are we prepared to wait upon God for His timing and to wait upon Him patiently?

Each of us has a story to tell on how God works in and through us.

Will we also allow God to shape, prepare and use us as instruments for His glory?

God will redeem all our mistakes and brokenness and use for His glory.

We pray that God will use us to make an impact in the world.

Parenting is God's Ministry

Dr. Paul David Tripp
22-08-2018

Without the truth of the gospel, it is very easy to reduce parenting down to what you want to get from your children and what you want to see in your children. Parenting is not about that.

Parenting is about what God knows you need and what He alone is able to do in the lives of my children.

Parenting is about being an ambassador. I am God's representative.


Every child is a philosopher. Every child is a theologian. Every child is an archeologist who will dig through the mountain of existence to make sense out of lives. I want to be part of that formation that God has designed for every child.

I am also parenting a worshiper. That's your child's identity, and not his activity. Something will always rule the heart of that child. He will either worship some kind of idol or he will worship God. The idol of idols is the idol of self. The most natural thing that a child worships is himself. "I am the centre of my universe. I want the world to serve me. I want to rule my own life. And frankly I don't really need you to parent me because I know what I want and I don't like you either way."

So God's called me to be part of that formative struggle in the heart of a child.

If your eyes ever see or your ears ever hear the same weakness and failure of your children, it's never an accident, it's never a hassle; it's always grace. God loves children. He's put them in a family of faith. And He will reveal their needs to you so you can be a tool of rescue, restoration and transformation. You should never, ever get upset because you are seeing the weaknesses or failures of your children.

Parents, your children don't know why they do the things they do because they don't know who they are. That's your job.

"Mommy didn't yell at you. Mommy didn't call you bad names. Mommy didn't ask you to do something wrong. When you are yelling at mommy, you are trying to be the the mommy of mommies. If you are trying to be the mommy of mommies, you have no mommy." 

Don't just manage behavior, go after the heart.

Represent God's grace and be a part of what He's going to do in the lives of your children. 

What a child needs, you have no ability whatsoever as a parent to produce. You have no ability whatsoever to change your child.

Change is not your job. Your job is to be a tool in the hands of the One who can change your children. You're just a tool in God's toolbox.

God makes His invisible grace visible by sending parents the grace to give grace to children who need grace.

God would never ever call you to a task without enabling you to do it. He would not send you without going with you.

The genius of parenting is that it is repetitive. By the work on the cross, He provides a way to accept us into His family. But we're in a bit of a mess. So for the rest of our Christian lives, He progressively works to change us. It is a process.

If I am the change maker, then the only option is to win. And losing is deeply personal.

If you make this about you and your change agenda for your child, these four things will happen.

First, you'll turn moments of ministry into moments of anger. You personalise what is not personal. You make it about you. Eg. I can't believe you'd do this to me. I can't believe this is happening again.

You get in the way of what God is doing. You can't have a win mentality. You gotta have a process mentality where each conversation is another step in the process. There won't be ultimate winning till Jesus returns.

If I am a completely successful parent, when my child leaves the home, he'll still need God's process of change in his life.

Parenting will not just expose the heart of my child. It will also expose my heart. The more I confess my need of grace, the easier it is for me to give grace. Nobody gives grace easier than the person who needed it himself.

Jesus carried every ounce of my sin and every piece of my rejection. In my most painful moments, I pray that I would not ever want to see the back of God's head. The most painful moment for Christ on the cross was not physical, it was relational. It was God turning His back on His Son and Jesus crying out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?" Jesus took my forsaking so that I would receive acceptance. It is not based on what I do but based on what He's done.

That frees me to run to the One who accepts me even though I am dirty, stained, weak and failing. It allows me to confess those favours to my children.

The gospel is preached so powerfully in that moment of weakness and failure. I am not promoting my righteousness to my children. 

And it's not just getting my children saved. It is about being used by God to help produce disciples who will continue to say this is the most valuable thing in my life and continue to be open for the change that God wants to work in my life.

So eventhough when they leave my home, they always see themselves in a spiritual sense as children in need of parenting of the Heavenly Father.

Copyright 2018 CHEC & Generations | All Rights Reserved

Getting to the Heart of Behaviour

Dr. Tedd & Margy Tripp
24-10-2018

Proverbs 4:23 New Heart English Bible
23 Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.

Luke 6:45 New King James Version (NKJV)
45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil [a]treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.


What the Scriptures make abundantly clear is that the problems we get into are not just problems of the fact that we've been doing the wrong thing. It's really even before that that's what's going on inside. It's those heart issues that we want to speak to with our kids.

So we're not just controlling and managing behaviour. We're really involved in the nurture of our children and helping them to understand their hearts and where that behavior that strays reflects a heart that strays. The key idea is that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

We tend to think of the heart equals emotions. But the Bible teaches that we think with our hearts. God flooded the world because He saw the thought of men's hearts was bent on evil continually. (Genesis 6:5) Things we think of in terms of interaction with other people is all heart driven.

Matthew 5:8 New King James Version (NKJV)
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.

Matthew 6:21 New King James Version (NKJV)
21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 5:21-22a New King James Version (NKJV)
Murder Begins in the Heart
21 “You have heard that it was said to those [a]of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother [b]without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.

Matthew 5:27-28 New King James Version (NKJV)
Adultery in the Heart
27 “You have heard that it was said [a]to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus applies the law in terms of the heart. The focus of Christ's ministry again and again is everything flows from the heart.

We live in a world that is so superficial regarding everything. Behaviour and relationships are all focusing on externals. It is superficial because it never gets to what lies under what is said and done. The world is satisfied with that.

But as believers, we have a way of looking at the world, life and ourselves that is profoundly internal. The heart is important for that reason.

Proverbs 16:5a New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord;

As Christians, we have marvellous resources for understanding the heart because we have a Bible that is complete. It is everything we need for reprove, correction, instruction, righteousness. Things like pride rather than humility, or love of self rather than love for others, or anger rather than being a peacemaker, or rebellion rather than submission, or envy rather than a desire for the good of others, or covetousness rather than generosity of the heart, or self preservation rather than laying down my life.

As parents, develop a heart notebook with your kids. Fill it with the truth of God's Word about the heart.

Romans 12:19-21 New King James Version (NKJV)
19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

God will take care of justice.

1 Peter 2:23-25 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose [a]stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and [b]Overseer of your souls.

As husbands and wives, talk together and have the humility to be honest with one another. As for ourselves, seek the Lord and do that hard work.

Those are important ways to prepare ourselves to help children uncover, not to dictate, analyse or approach them. Rather, to lead them to an understanding of the things that motivate them. There is no more powerful way to get to the hearts of your children than to have the Spirit of God get to your heart.

For us as children of God, that foray into the heart always ends at the cross. That is where we want to take our children when they are trying to recognise, acknowledge and work on their own hearts. We always want to take them to the cross. If we have moved on to the cross as a result of understanding our motivations, it is a natural thing for us to take our children to the cross as well.

There is hope for us. There is grace for us. Because Christ lived in our world, our flesh and experienced all those stuff we're experiencing in this world.

We live in a culture and a world where people are islands and we don't get into anyone's personal space.

It's true in the families as well. How many families keep the peace by staying out of one another's way? They figure out what the trigger points are. That certainly happen in marriages a lot. And we can teach that to our children. It's messy, it's difficult, it requires humility, and it requires having your life consumed with a different mentality that is focused on what will make us like Christ and what will truly serve one another.

In 21st century culture, we're consumed with what will please me today and get me through my day and what will accomplish my agenda. This just decimates that whole mindset.

We have to realise that there are layers of heart issues. And sometimes we can identify pride as the face of what's going on in the heart. But often, underneath that pride is real insecurity rather than being okay with who they are in Christ.

Pray the prayer of Psalm 139.

Psalm 139:4 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

Psalm 139:23-24 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Pray the Word of God because God's Word cleanses and purifies.

1 Peter 1:22-25 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Enduring Word
22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth [a]through the Spirit in [b]sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, 23 having been born again, not of [c]corruptible seed but [d]incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides [e]forever, 24 because

“All flesh is as grass,
And all [f]the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers,
And its flower falls away,
25 But the [g]word of the Lord endures forever.”

Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you.

The most powerful approach with our children is to begin with ourselves.

Hebrews 4:14-16 New International Version (NIV)
Jesus the Great High Priest
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

All of those passages that smack of that incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ abiding with us are models for us of how to come alongside anyone in our world, and certainly our children, so that they are able to receive. We want our instructions to be Christ-like and as acceptable as we can. Where ever we can, use ourselves as an illustration of one who has struggled and who has overcome--not because of any good in us but--because we have access to the Lord Jesus Christ. Bring the Word of God to them.

James 3:13-18 New King James Version (NKJV)
Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and [a]self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

(Peacemakers are harvesters of the fruit righteousness.)

God's truth is persuasive because the Spirit of God works through it. Bringing God's Word to kids is such a powerful thing.

Because parents that are very conscientious and intentional in raising their kids for the Lord are so focused on and so desperately want them to come to faith and to live out the goodness of a Christian life, it is very easy for us to be overbearing and sign on the dotted line and seal the deal and close the deal each time.

Try to commend our children for what we know is at the root of their hearts. For instance, "I know you love your brother. And this was a struggle, isn't it? Because you had a battle in your heart. You wanted to sit in the front seat with your grandpa. But I know you love your brother." It is always good to acknowledge and recognise that there are good desires in the hearts of our children. When our kids are in trouble, we tend to zero in with laser precision on their fault. Sometimes we do that in our marriage.

The other important issue is to remember why God brings discipline to us. He doesn't bring discipline to us in order to get His thumb on us and show that we did wrong and we're going to get it now. God's purpose in discipline is to make us holy. Acknowledge that to our children the reasons why this is so important is because we want them to come on the other side of this as a  person who is a more whole person. God's Word is powerful and true and God's Spirit is able to change us from the inside out. We need to think discipling when we think discipline. That changes the whole way we think about and interact with and go about the discipline process and moves us away from "Let's fix this problem" mentality to a broader vision that is, God's vision and purpose for us as His children, even in chastisement, is always to make us holy.

If our focus is changed behaviour, then we don't need the gospel for that. But if our focus is on what's going on inside, our only hope is the gospel. There is a God who is full of grace and power that can transform us internally because we are a fallen people, we are a fraud and we live in a broken world so we ourselves sin against others and we're sinned against, and there is hope for all that Christ came into our world and looked at the world through our eyes.

Hebrews 2:18 New King James Version (NKJV)
18 For in that He Himself has suffered, being [a]tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.

His experience of our lives in a broken world with simple people all around Him gives Him the capacity to help us, redemptively, in the midst of our struggles.

The more we are focused on the heart, the more we're drawn to the gospel because there is no other hope.

Behaviour is not going to get us there. It is like the icing on the cake.

With the gospel, we are the whole cake.

In a secular sense, behaviourism doesn't build character. Prizes create a more greedy child than when you started with. Punishments create antagonism and rebellion in the child. So it doesn't work long term.

Only believers have a world that's outside of that sensory world, an unseen world of spiritual reality where God exists and out of which we can interpret all of life. As believers, we have a doctrine of internal change. We have a reality that is in addition to the sensory world where we can accurately interpret the seen world by virtue of the unseen world.

Parents and authorities in our culture do not want to acknowledge their own shortcomings. It is a whole wrong view on authority. It is part of the world we live in.

Think about the people who inspire you the most. People who inspire you the most are the people who acknowledge their humanity and their fallenness. And they give you hope that you, like they, can know hope in Christ. Recognise the power of being people who have the humility to acknowledge their humanity and sinfulness because it creates a sense of oneness between you and the person you're trying to reach that will never be accomplished by standing over them with the law.

We have to see this as a process. In disarming rebellion, if we have teenagers who've hardened their hearts toward us and toward God, we have to start by acknowledging our own failures and welcoming them in respectful ways to tell us the ways that we have hurt them because that wall didn't blow up by accident. In many ways we created the wall. That doesn't mean we created the rebellion. They're responsible before God for their rebellion. But sometimes we get in the way of God working. So disarming rebellion comes about by talking to our children by being honest about our shortcomings, limitations and failures and even welcoming them to get it off of their chest in respectful ways. Start by saying, "I want to give you an opportunity to tell me the ways that I've made this difficult for you or the ways that I've hurt you." We do this together. Take as long for that process as needed. It is a process, and not an event.

And what happens is that we remove that sense of justification against us and our parenting methods and behaviourism. We open the way for hope in God. Many times we're what's in the way and we want to remove their sense of justification against us so that God's Spirit can work in those children who have become hardened against us. Since we're God's representatives, they've hardened their hearts against God as well. We can't defend ourselves based on our own good intentions.

We began opening the way for healing and relationships. Until our children feel understood, there's not going to be any healing.

Galatians 6:9 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Stick with the Lord and He'll stick with you.

2 Peter 1:3-4a New King James Version (NKJV)
3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature,

We have endless resources in our Lord Jesus. God's Word speaks to every need in ourselves and in our home. God's Spirit is always there to open His Word to us if we'll seek Him.

Ephesians 3:20-21 New King James Version (NKJV)
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

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